


It takes time

by TheVampireAvatar



Series: Kit-Cat [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Pale Porn, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9707591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVampireAvatar/pseuds/TheVampireAvatar
Summary: When her moirail is in danger, Nepeta will stand up and fight it-no matter how small, fake, or self risking it may be.





	1. Chapter 1

It was suppose to be a normal day for the two of them. Equius was slowly reintroducing her into the world after he brought her back. His leg was still broken and in the big, pain-in-the-ass cast, so they weren’t able to do much but that was totally okay with the young troll. If the two of them spent the day on the couch, in the safety and familiar comfort of their own home, then it was a day cherished. Those times when Equius forced her out into a new area was harder for her-she was still adjusting to not have to kill to survive or the fact that nobody was going to lash out at her if she made eye contact with them. She was still really shaken up from all the events that transpired and needed both time to heal her mental and physical wounds. 

Her tail was completely gone and it still bothered her to no end-but at this point, honestly, she was almost used to the pain and hardships her life had brought her. Some of her bones were either bruised, broken, or just completely numb at times. Her horns sometimes would ache in the middle of the night from the simple memories of being grabbed or smacked at. Her body ached so much that sometimes it seemed that even her blood was causing her agony. Often she would wake up from nightmares, the pain, or just simply being scared and unused to the area she was in. Sometimes, more often than not actually, she would simply have to stare outside her window, or stand in the hallway outside of Equius and Feferi’s room. She was always torn between waking them up for comfort, what she had done before, and just sucking it up and taking care of herself, what she had been forced to do so for the last year and a half. 

It wasn’t easy adjusting to everything over again-even with her new moirail. He helped where he could and she felt grateful to him, she really did, but there was still so much emotional baggage she had to carry around. She didn’t want to give all of it to him. Nepeta also refused to give it to her therapist, as nice as she was, because...she was just a stranger being paid to listen to her. If Nepeta couldn’t feel comfortable talking everything through with Equius, there was no way she was going to talk to a stranger! Besides, she was old enough where she shouldn’t have to feel upset about nightmares anymore, anyway….She could handle it. 

At least, that’s what she told herself before she went back to her room after she gave up her courage and retreated back to face her own feelings by herself. Nepeta didn’t want to disturb them anymore than she had to, and she already felt like she had done enough of that to last a lifetime. She could take care of herself, if she could survive the last two years on her own then she could sure as hell survive the rest of her life...right? 

Equius, of course, had caught on to her distress. He was always so observant of her and would try his damned best to make sure that she had everything that she needed, but sometimes...it just wasn’t enough. And he couldn’t help her if she didn’t tell him what was wrong. She would tell him some things when he cornered her and cuddled her in the pile made of blankets in her room, but even then she was holding back and they both knew it. He felt useless, he didn’t want to force her to tell him everything that happened, but he knew that she had nightmares about what she went through, he knew that she woke up in the middle of the night, and he knew that she would stand in the hallway. The floors would creak when she paced in her room across the hall or the door would whine as it opened in the middle of the night. 

He knew all of this because he too woke up in the haunting hour. Even just that one encounter in her abused period of time was enough to shock him to his core and keep him up. Of course, he dreamed of other things too. That moment in his life when everything just seemed to freeze up when he found out that she was gone, that petrifying cry of pain he heard as he and Dirk raced to save her from Gamzee, those months of depression when he would just sit at the table, waiting for her to run up and demand that he take her to the park. Even now, it was enough to bring tears to his eyes. 

But enough was enough. He was tired of sitting on the couch with Nepeta only half heartedly paying attention to the cartoon playing on the tv. While it was only ten in the morning, he was already dressed and ready to go for the day, disregarding the fact that he usually didn’t go anywhere with his broken leg. It was healing nice and all, but it was always better for him to spend the day lazily watching movies and shows away with his moirail...when she was in a good mood that is. Otherwise he would fret the day away and try to make her smile, even if it was only just once or twice. Each smile at those points were victorious. 

When Equius looked over at her for what seemed like the twentieth time in the last ten minutes, he noticed with a sad heart that she hadn’t really changed her position. It seemed like last night she had barely gotten any sleep because she was just sitting there with her eyes glued to one spot on the wall. Her legs were brought up to her chest and arms crossed over them to hold them in place. Even with one of her favorite shows playing on the television, the only indicator that she was paying attention to it was a twitch of the ear when something extravagant happened. As if her lack in enthusiasm weren’t an indicator enough, the deep bags under her yellow eyes were clear enough. Her shoulders were slumped and weren’t perky like they usually were when she was okay. Equius’s heart melted for her, it really did, but what else could he do except simply watch from a distance? 

No. He was her moirail, dammit! He was going to do something even if it caused his leg some pain. She was worth it, she might not completely see that, but she was and he wasn’t going to let her just...go. With that thought sending chills up his spine, he sighed and readied his leg as best as he could. He rose out of the inviting couch to just simply rest for the day (once again), but he ignored the temptation. “Nepeta,” he caught her attention when he stood, but she was watching his leg to see if it would support him. He felt something squeeze in his chest when he realized that she was making sure that he wouldn’t fall, and if it was any indicator by the way her arm moved down her leg then she was preparing to catch him if she needed to. He ignored that for now and continued on. “Why don’t we go to the park?” 

She blinked her owlish owls at him, foggy from exhaustion. “The...park?” 

“Yes, I believe that it would benefit us to go visit something green and bright rather than just being indolent all day like normal.” He smiled at her to try and get a reaction but she had turned her head back to the wall. She relaxed her body and shifted so that her legs weren’t against her chest anymore, which was a good sign in his book. 

“Maybe, Eq. I dunno.” 

In his pause, Equius could hear the clock in the hallway chime three times. His leg felt like it was going to groan in pain and exhaustion when he shifted his weight anxiously and awkwardly. He had to get her to do something, he didn’t want her to fall into depression like it seemed she already was. 

“Tell you what, Nep. If we go to the park and walk around, I’ll let you do whatever you want when we get home. We could play a game, read a book, draw, er…” He scrambled for more activities to list. 

She watched him from her spot on the couch and rubbed at her eye. She knew he was really trying to reach out to her and that he was doing his best to help her. After mentally debating what could go wrong (the list was way too long so she switched it to what could go right instead), she nodded mentally and glanced back at her moirail. The young troll sighed inwardly at the idea and tried to put on a smile for him. “Alright, Equius. We can do that.” 

Biting back the sigh of relief that was desperate to leave his lips, he nodded, gathered her off the couch and moved towards the door with hope in his heart. Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to get her back on the road towards being herself once more. Pausing only to adjust his crutches under his arms, he and Nepeta left their humble home and went out into the world to seek any form of peaceful entertainment for the girl.


	2. Chapter 2

The door slammed open, the handle hitting the wall and sent the door reeling back, but Nepeta was already halfway up the stairs by the time that happened. Her claws gripped each stair individually and helped her leap forward up the staircase. She didn’t want to think of her claws at the moment, no, she didn’t want to think of anything. Not after what had just happened to her and Equius. Her bones were crying in pain, but she couldn’t (and wouldn’t) pay attention to them. She registered in the back of her mind that Equius was going to scold her about exhausting herself again and would probably force some medicine down her throat again, but she couldn’t bare to think about anything except going into her room and hiding. All her attention was on that supposedly easy task and not losing herself like she had just done. 

“Nepeta, stop! We need to talk about this!” 

The olive blooded troll wasn’t listening to her moirail’s distressed calls and instead crawled into her closet, jumping up onto the very top shelf. There was a blanket up there in case they had guests or if it got chilly in the night, but it also doubled as a hiding place. This particular one she hadn’t used in any of their hide and seek games before so she knew for a fact Equius wouldn’t be able to find her as easily as he was probably hoping for. 

Silent tears streaked down her face as she drew in on herself in the dark. She could feel the blood that had long since dried on her claws still and she resisted the urge to gag or vomit. It took a minute to realize that she was shaking all over her body, tremors rattled her already bruised bones, send ghost pains to her tail and caused her to silently sob. It was torture to be in a state like this. But was it really that surprising? After all, she hadn’t gotten into a battle since...him. 

Equius called out to her again, but she didn’t hear him. She was lost in the nightmares that existed only in her mind, the screams of fear and agony she heard whenever a troll was murdered, the way that their flesh was like butter to her claws. It was all so easy to cut through or to end one’s life that it was second nature to her. And suddenly her tremors augmented as she was suddenly seeing everything over again, all the tortures she had to endure while she was gone for two years.   
Whimpers began to get past her lips as her eyes dulled and suddenly she was back and Gamzee was there all over, just waiting to finish her off. Equius wasn’t there and, and, all the trolls that she had sent to their doom loomed over her again. The real world around her melted away as the darkness took a hold of her. 

The whimpers turned into shouts of terror as she felt rather then saw her claws go through a rust blood’s arm. Her mind just continued to regress and regress back into those flashbacks, heart pounding faster than ever before, her breathing was so labored that it sounded more like harsh gasps more than simple breaths, somewhere around her there was screams that sounded like a wounded animal gasping for its last breath, she only saw red, the flashbacks seemed so real to her it was almost right in front of her. 

“Nepeta!!” 

The young troll blinked heavily, the voice bringing back some recollection to her senses. Her breathing continued to be raspy and gaspy, unable to be controlled. Nepeta barely was able to tell that Equius’s hands were on her and he was holding her tightly against his chest. She couldn’t really tell anything past that his heart was racing too underneath her head. 

What had seemed like moments passed in a blur for the young troll, Equius continuing to stroke her back carefully and murmur comforting words into her hair. Already the flashbacks had resided and her tremors were the next thing to slow, then stop completely. Her breathing remained harsh and labored, but even that stopped after a bit. Afterwards, she just felt exhausted. Mentally, physically, and especially emotionally. Nepeta didn’t want to think about anything at that point. Her moirail was a professional at calming her down, this clearly not being the first time she’s had an episode like this. 

But it was the first time that she’s had to fight in a while. 

Equius continued to stroke her hair, his hand travelling down her back then it would travel back up to her head and repeat this calming process. With a sigh, she let her heavy eyelids close and she relaxed completely against him. She wasn’t even aware that she had begun to purr until Equius chuckled softly to himself and paused, only for a second, in his petting. 

Dimly, Nepeta tried to recall what all had happened to trigger this sort of reaction. She couldn’t really tell anything, but Equius earlier had mentioned that it was good to try and talk these things out. The therapist had also told them this, but not to pressure her into talking about anything she didn’t want to or didn’t feel ready to. She nudged Equius with her horn and got his attention. 

“Can we talk about it?” She whispered to him, voice cracking from either the misuse and screaming or from the crying, she wasn’t completely sure. 

Equius sighed-she wasn’t sure again whether from relief or something else- and nodded, shifting them so he was able to prop his back up against the wall in her bedroom. She became aware that it was now evening and realized that he must’ve spent hours with her already trying to calm her down, which shocked her. She thought it was just a few moments, not hours. 

“We were taking a stroll through the park, that you recall, I’m sure.” She nodded, that she did remember, quite vividly in fact. The green hills, the pink slide, it was a stereotypical park without any issues. “We were beginning to walk on the trails behind the park, by the bridge that went over the river.” 

“And I could smell the blood.” Nepeta muttered as she mindlessly played with her hands. 

Equius tensed underneath her slightly as he huffed out a breath of air. “You could smell the blood. At first you didn’t know what to do, but after I heard the dog’s whimpering…” 

Nepeta vividly could recall all this now. 

They had been walking on the cemented trail that went through some of the woods behind the park. Pinetrees lined everywhere around them, bushes and leaves constantly were nipping at their feet. The sticks and rocks were scattered around as if somebody had just thrown them everywhere like confetti. It wasn’t quiet though, the river gargled down in the ditch like somebody rinsing their mouth out with mouthwash. Yet at the same time it was soft enough to the point where it was like a lullaby. The scent for Equius was just forest, nice clean air and the scent of the trees. But to Nepeta, she could smell the animals who thrived there, hidden away. She was able to sniff out the water that was a quarter of a mile away. 

This world was peaceful for her, it was were she was able to thrive the best...without her moirail, of course. It was one of the main reasons why she went out to live there when Equius died. Without him, this was the next best thing. Of course, it would’ve been even better if the heavy scent of blood wasn’t there, disrupting her peace. 

She had stopped, frozen and confused as to what she should do. Equius, who was walking along side her as he hobbled along in his crutches, had asked her what was wrong. She was about to answer, hesitating on how to phrase her confusion, when the dog’s whimpering had broke through the air. Equius, the veterinarian he was, looked at Nepeta and squeezed her hand before breaking off into an awkward stride towards the sound. Nepeta took a few steps after him, but was still hesitant to go over to the sound, her ears flattening down. 

The dog was down the hill from where they were, its owners hovering anxiously next to it. The dog, which Nepeta would find out later was a border collie, was still standing, which Equius commented on how that was a good sign. Nepeta could clearly see the dog, she didn’t know what type it was but it was super fluffy with long strands of fur. As she got closer, she began to pay attention to the animal’s attitude and stance more than how Equius was conversing with the owners and crouched in front of the animal. At first Nepeta just thought that the dog was scared (after all, Equius could be very intimidating), but then she saw how the dog wasn’t just being nervous. She’s seen that look before in trolls that she’s fought-sure, the dog was hurt and probably threatened by Equius. But the damned animal was also beginning to be ready to fight. 

“It’s just a minor cut,” Equius was saying to the owners, used to animals acting a bit like this when he was around. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary to be big and massive like him and have animals be skittish around you, after all. “However, it’s bleeding a lot more than I would like” He leaned in to see the wound, close to its neck, when the dog had snapped. 

Equius barely had the time to flinch when he felt the dog’s jaws clamp onto his arm. He didn’t even have time to let out a hiss of surprise and pain before the dog disappeared, just a streak of color flew by his eyes. 

By the time his brain had registered what had happened, Nepeta and the dog were already rolling down the hill together, wrestling and biting one another as they fought it out. The owners were torn between rescuing their dog, helping Equius, and just standing there in shock. 

Nepeta’s mind drew to a blank then, unable to really recall anything else. 

“I was so terrified when I couldn’t find you here. Then the screams,” he pulled her even closer (if that was possible at this point) and let his hair fall over the two of them. “I was worried that you were hurt or were being attacked or something.” He didn’t release her but did loosen his grip a bit. 

“Nepeta,” Equius commented as he stroked her hair again. “Why didn’t you just pull the dog off of me?” 

She was tempted just to blurt out that she was scared for him at first then just got carried away, taken by her fight or flight instincts. Deep down, however, she knew that wasn’t entirely true. The olive blooded troll thought about it for a few seconds then huffed out a sigh. “I’m not completely sure, but when I saw the dog biting your arm,” she glanced down to see the white bandages wrapped around him. “I only saw red and lost control.”

Equius rubbed his neck and nodded after a second. “I know you must’ve been...frightened, to say the least, but Nepeta, you must realize that I’ll always be here to protect you. You know this, right?” 

Nepeta lifted one of her shoulders in a shrug. 

“My little moirail, if I may inquire something of you. Why have you been so melancholy recently?” 

She looked at him then away. 

“Nepeta, was it something I did? Is it something I can fix?” 

She shook her head violently with tears building in her eyes. 

“The dog won’t hurt us again, Nepeta, you know this.”

And she did-the dog was going to be put down. Not because of all the scratches Nepeta gave it, but because it lashed out at Equius. Even if the dog was just threatened, the human laws clearly stated indifference on the matter. It didn’t really make sense to her, but all the same Nepeta felt guilty for attacking the dog. So in response to Equius’s statement, she said nothing. 

Equius squeezed her tightly to his chest. “I’m just distraught at your mood recently,” he muttered into her hair. “You know you can tell me anything, yes?” At her nod, he blinked and closed his eyes after a minute. “You know you can cry too, right? It’s not a sign of weakness. Not anymore, and not ever. I will love you all the same.” 

Nepeta froze at that and straightened. Her eyes grew wet and puffy once more as she just sobbed and sobbed into his chest, letting the rest of the night pass her by as she was comforted by the best person on the earth. The only one who would truly understand her every want, need, or idea. He was the best and she would defend him no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this chapter is a bit depressing, but don't worry, much more pale fluff is heading your way in the next chapter! This is going to be a two shot, maybe a three shot. But I don't really wanna write another chapter after the next so it's most likely a two.


End file.
